I think there is not a day I don't get asked about the process, and how its going. Its humbling, and a constant reminder we are not in control. But what strikes me the most is that every time I am asked, I am faced with a decision.
How I respond to each question is a reflection of my heart. How am I showing my trust or my lack of trust in the Lord with the response I give. Just when I think I really am doing good at the trust thing, I fall in the trust thing. But yet, even in that, God is still there, and hasn't moved.
So here the update is we wait. We wait for an unspecified amount of time for something that in mans eyes should have taken a month. But, God has deemed it necessary for it to take a longer amount of time. Why you ask? I ask that same thing.... But, one day we will know the answer, and I TRUST and am faithful that when we finally get to meet our daughter we will know. We will know why...
Christmas time this year is super emotional for both of us. We are experiencing Emmanuel (God with us) in a way different way. We have images of next Christmas with our daughter, experiencing her first Christmas with a family. But we also feel an empty hole in our hearts knowing she is not here with us and will spend Christmas alone in an orphanage. We are praying SHE WILL know EMMANUEL this Christmas amidst time in the orphanage so that when we are together she will be able to share one day how she experienced God who came to her to comfort her there in her bed in China. Please join us in praying that she experiences the Lord in a crowded orphanage this Christmas! Please pray for her little heart to be comforted, and loved.
Meanwhile here in Korea, we wait. We wait similarly like Mary. She was willing and waited to see what it was the Lord asked of her. What would come to pass. How would this all play out? What would people say, what rumors, what thoughts, others opinions. But yet, she was focused only on the Lord and HIS desire for her. She was obedient, I pray that same level of obedience for us as we walk this uncertain road. Be done to me Lord what you will. Have your way Lord.
What we do know is: God is the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace, the King on His throne. He has not moved. We know He has asked us to walk this crazy winding road, He has a child somewhere for us (on earth or when we meet our child in Heaven), He has brought in over half of the needed funds to be able to get the child. We won't be able to get grants because of the timing which is another way He is asking us to trust Him. He is moving, He is King, He is our Lord. We are not guaranteed anything, meaning tomorrow, our even a child. We only receive those if the Lord deems.
There are days our emotions are all over the place and that's when we have to cling to the promises of Christ in obedience and trust that our feelings will follow. Some days are harder than others.
Please be patient with us if we get emotional, its an emotional ride known really to those who have walked it. Similar to infertility. But, we wouldn't trade this life or this path for anything. We have grown to a deeper dependence on the Lord because of it. God gets all the glory!!!