Tuesday, December 23, 2014


Last night on the 23rd, I was struggling with thoughts of is this adoption even going to happen. Which in turn led me to not experiencing the Joy this Christmas.  I have been to Christmas parties, but there was something in my soul that was all bound up and I was not able to enjoy.  So, last night Dan surprised me with going out and spreading Christmas cheer.  You know from the movie ELF, " The Best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to here" that is what Dan and I did.  
It worked! It worked in my soul.  When we returned home I came across this post from Desiring God. HERE.  

Its truly taking that time, remembering what its about. 

This morning the 24th we woke up to an email that says, CONGRATS! YOUR HOMESTUDY IS OFFICIALLY FINISHED!!!  This means, we have 3 months to get in our next batch of paper work, (that we already have done)to China so that we Officially and legally will get Lily! WOOHOO!!! 

Truly this is a wonderful Christmas gift~ So we hurry up to wait again, but this time, we know next year we will have our daughter in our arms. This step has been such a crazy emotional time, that really we can't even explain fully, but those that have gone through it with us, and  those who have gone through it themselves will know what I mean. 

We are so grateful for your prayers! What does this mean now? Basically the Chinese government knows the Haas family wants Lily but they don't know who the Haas family it. So this second batch of paperwork (the dossier) goes to China explaining and showing them who we are. Once that is approved, there will be a few more steps, and soon we will get to travel and bring her home. I think maybe about June if all goes smoothly, but then again this step has taken a long time. 

 So, sit back and continue to watch God's plan for an orphan unfold! 

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Wait, Wait Wait,.....Do you trust?

I think there is not a day I don't get asked about the process, and how its going. Its humbling, and a constant reminder we are not in control. But what strikes me the most is that every time I am asked, I am faced with a decision.
How I respond to each question is a reflection of my heart. How am I showing my trust or my lack of trust in the Lord with the response I give. Just when I think I really am doing good at the trust thing, I fall in the trust thing. But yet, even in that, God is still there, and hasn't moved.

So here the update is we wait. We wait for an unspecified amount of time for something that in mans eyes should have taken a month. But, God has deemed it necessary for it to take a longer amount of time. Why you ask? I ask that same thing....  But, one day we will know the answer, and I TRUST and am faithful that when we finally get to meet our daughter we will know. We will know why...

Christmas time this year is super emotional for both of us. We are experiencing Emmanuel (God with us) in a way different way. We have images of next Christmas with our daughter, experiencing her first Christmas with a family. But we also feel an empty hole in our hearts knowing she is not here with us and will spend Christmas alone in an orphanage. We are praying SHE WILL know EMMANUEL this Christmas amidst time in the orphanage so that when we are together she will be able to share one day how she experienced God who came to her to comfort her there in her bed in China. Please join us in praying that she experiences the Lord in a crowded orphanage this Christmas! Please pray for her little heart to be comforted, and loved.

Meanwhile here in Korea, we wait. We wait similarly like Mary.  She was willing and waited to see what it was the Lord asked of her.  What would come to pass. How would this all play out? What would people say, what rumors, what thoughts, others opinions. But yet, she was focused only on the Lord and HIS desire for her. She was obedient, I pray that same level of obedience for us as we walk this uncertain road. Be done to me Lord what you will. Have your way Lord.

What we do know is: God is the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace, the King on His throne. He has not moved. We know He has asked us to walk this crazy winding road, He has a child somewhere for us (on earth or when we meet our child in Heaven), He has brought in over half of the needed funds to be able to get the child. We won't be able to get grants because of the timing which is another  way He is asking us to trust Him.  He is moving, He is King, He is our Lord.  We are not guaranteed  anything, meaning tomorrow, our even a child. We only receive those if the Lord deems.

There are days our emotions are all over the place and that's when we have to cling to the promises of Christ in obedience and trust that our feelings will follow. Some days are harder than others.

Please be patient with us if we get emotional, its an emotional ride known really to those who have walked it. Similar to infertility.  But, we wouldn't trade this life or this path for anything.  We have grown to a deeper dependence on the Lord because of it. God gets all the glory!!!

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Humbled by the Provisions of the Lord.

I have to say, I am constantly humbled by the provisions of the Lord.  I am daily reminded of Gods sovereign hand over our lives. What a joy to serve Him.  Yes, the past 2 weeks have been so very difficult for different reasons. I have been emotional and withdrawn. What I do know is that the Lord is shaping my heart, and preparing my heart for something greater. I have come to understand in a more REAL way the Fear of the Lord.  What does it mean to Fear the Lord?  Do you fear the Lord? Meaning, do you fear His amazing hand in everything? His hand when it doesn't feel good? or His hand when you have sinned and realise the depravity of your soul.  

God has shown himself once again to be the provider of everything. If you read any posts from our Facebook Adoption group, heres the scoop. 

"GOD HAS BEEN SO GRACIOUS!!!! When we looked at what we had for our 5600 payment for the next chunk of the adoption, we realised we were short about 1200-1500 dollars. With a sigh of relief we sold 9 starbucks mugs, and that left our total to about 1000. Yesterday someone came and talked with Dan and said, " we want to pay the remaining balance for the next payment". I was again blown away by the graciousness of our Lord! Wow! So, with that we will have enough for the Agency Fee. WOOHOO!! The next big payment will be due in a few months which is 7,000. We are trusting the Lord once again to provide if its His desire."

After this, a friend of ours posted something else. She was getting some ladies together at the community garage sale, and the proceeds were going to Lily Hopes fund! AMAZING!! 
Below are some photos from today. 

Also when I got back home today there was as present on our doorstep. What a special gift from the Lord!! Thank you whomever you are that left this little blessing!! 

Thursday, September 11, 2014

The Best things in Life are not things!

Today has been an emotional day. Well just frustration really with life, and systems that don't work in the time that they should. But, God is moving in my heart in a major way.  How you ask?

Well sit back and I will tell you a little tale.
For the past 9 years Dan and I have traveled all around and one thing we pick up at each location is a Starbucks City mug. I know, big deal right? Well, the last 4 years the Lord has been tugging at my heart to make sure I check why I feel I need the mugs. We had about 20 mugs of the Architecture series and a few years back while in Florida the Lord pushed in my heart asking, " are these an IDOL?".  My response, NO WAY! But, God continued to tug at my heart and I said, ok I will put up the mugs on Ebay and give the money to missions. I even had the missionaries in mind. My heart wasn't right. They didn't sell. I lowered the price, and they again didn't sell. I tried it one more time at an even lower price and once again they didn't sell. I thought, Lord, what is going on?
So the last thanksgiving we had at our house in Germany, I laid them all out and told each of the guests to take what they wanted. OUCH! It was really freeing actually.

Over the past year the Lord was working again on my heart and about the Global Icon series. I keep telling Him, Lord we want to open a Coffee house at some point and we would use these. Again, he pushed and said, hm, don't you trust me to provide for you then too? I insisted Lord, its so hard. Its memories of people and places. Lord it hurts. Ok, I know you are reading this and thinking really Becke? its only a coffee mug right?   For me it feels like a little piece of my heart and soul that is attached with a vivid memory of each.  

Our first house here in Korea we were able to put up the mugs in our coffee nook, and it looked awesome! Then we moved to our current house and there is not a good place to put up the amount of mugs we have. So again the Lord quietly knocks on my heart door and says its time, when are you going to sacrifice. Trust?

A few days ago I took out a box, and looked through it, and had images going thru my head of people places and sometimes even smells. WHATS WRONG WITH ME ITS A MUG!

So today as I was talking to Dan, I said ok, I think its time to list mugs on ebay.  He asked ARE YOU SURE? I said well Lily Hope is so worth it, and really its things. She is our family, and its time to sacrifice. Its as if its a little piece of death in our childless life, giving birth to something greater.

With that I took out the first box, and below is what was on the top of the box when I opened it.

I just smiled and said ok God! I understand. With that, we have listed 19 mugs up so far to help with the adoption costs! We have already sold 2. Woohoo!!!!

Here's to the life lived for God's glory not our comfort.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Longings and a BIG love

So many of you have seen that our friends are in China right now getting their 2 boys. I am so excited for them! Literally every time I pray, I turn into a puddle of tears. It makes me long for the day that we will get Lily Hope. What will it be like, what will I feel? Its such a joy being able to be a part of our friends journey to their boys! 

Yesterday I was driving and was struck with 2 things. 
First, its totally the Lord that I love our daughter so much that we have never met. The Lord is knitting our hearts even now. I was amazed at the amount of love that I have for her. That we have for her as I shared with Dan last night. 

Second, I was struck with some shortcomings I have that the Lord gently pointed out that will need to change before we get Lily. Believe it or not, our Cat has taught us some things about it. So Barnabas, (the encourager) you have encouraged us to be better parents. I know there are a ton of things daily that we will realise when we get Lily Hope, but for now, I am content with what the Lord is doing. 

We are awaiting photos from the agency we sent a cake and photo album through. The orphanage will  have a little birthday party for her with her friends. Its amazing that it will be the first time she will see our photos! As soon as I get them, be sure to know that I will post them here. 

We are in awe of the support of our friends and community. We are awaiting to share about what Camp Humphrey's collected to bring Lily Hope home! Stay tuned! 

For now, let me share a little about our Lily Hope.  We do know in September she will be getting an exam in China for an update! 

She is currently at The Social Welfare Institute of Fangchenggang City
 Police Station of Dongxing City got a note saying a abandoned baby girl with cleft lip and palate was found on the gate of Lilong supermarket.  A red packet was found beside the girl, who was labeled the DOB: Aug.15, 2009. After long time of searching, both the born parents and relatives of the child were not found. On the same day, Lily Hope  was sent to Fangchenggang City Children’s Welfare Institute.

The current update on her size: 
90cm, 12kg, 47cm head, 51cm chest, 13cm foot

We look forward in sharing more when we get more! 

Thank you for joining us on this journey to bring Lily Hope home! 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Happy 5th Birthday Darling Daughter

Lily Hope! 

We are excited to see photos of you enjoying the birthday cake we sent you, and for you see us for the first time in the photo book we sent you! We love you! 


I wanted to share with you the timeline basically of what we are going thru with adopting our daughter.  This will also give you sense of all that is involved. 

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Sending love and some musings of the journey

I think one of the biggest things with the adoption process is hurry up and wait. Its time between different paperwork frenzies to let God chip away at the impurities and prepare you more for the journey ahead. 
Its similar to being missionaries and raising support. Its going through the waiting process so you can see the Lord provide so that in those hard times you can look back and say, God provided and this is His design for us. He did call us to this.

Lily's birthday is this Friday, and a friend of ours gave us a link to the company they use to send packages, birthday cakes, etc. This company will also give you updates of your child. So last night we ordered a birthday cake for Lily, (they will have a little party for her) and a photo album (photos of us) along with a letter. What a beautiful thing to be able to do. We will post some photos as we get them. We are so grateful for the sheer amount of support people are lavishing. 
Below see the photo album! 
( I believe it says My album of love)

We are awaiting our final draft of our home study along with our Dossier that has to authenticated again. It is said, if you can adopt thru China, you can adopt thru anywhere. Its the most strict place to go through.

Dan and I are so excited for the journey, and know that our lives will change. We can't wait. What a joy to be able to get some outfits while I was visiting family in the states. It made it a bit more real. I think its amazing that our relationship with Lily started with a photo and seeking the Lords guidance if we were called to be her parents. 

Below an outfit! 

My next post will be about the incredible blessing of a community coming along side of Lily Hope to bring her home! Yes, our Camp Humphrey's VBS children and community raised funding to bring Lily Hope home. Also they were able to learn about adoption and why that's God's heart.
Stay tuned! 

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Facebook Auction

Gearing up for the next auction, September 1-5. If there is anything, or any service you would like to donate, please let me know. We are hoping to have about 200 items, or services. All you have to do is give me a photo and the winning bidder will be in contact to you about shipping. 

The last auction was enough to do our home study, and the fees with getting all the paperwork and medical stuff done. 

We are so very grateful for all of you joining in with us on this journey to being Lily Hope home! 

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Homestudy progress, LOI, and new photos

We met our social worker in St. Louis while here in the USA. Our walk thru of our house in Korea will be August 2nd as well as 2 more interviews.  We have an approved LOI (letter of intent) that China has approved. WE now wait for the home study to finish, and then we move forward. Please pray for that while we wait for the finished home study. 

Meanwhile, enjoy some of our news photos of Lily Cathryn Hope Haas. 

can't wait to be able to do her hair and get a cute hair cut. 

She does look so cute in piggy tales!!

She has grown a little from the Last photo. (see below)
(older photo)

Thank you for going on this journey with us. 
Also, something amazing has happened that blows us both away. Camp Humphreys VBS is raising funds to bring Lily home. When we were told this was going to happen, both Dan and I were completely speechless. Really we had and still have no words. We have just tears. 

One thing that the Lord pointed out to my heart that when I was watching the Steven Curtis Chapman conference for his foundation for families adopting I would see videos of families that had there whole church behind them. I thought to myself wow, we will never get that. Lord, that would be amazing, but I am content Lord is however you are willing to work. 
Little did I know HE was weaving a unbelievable story of bring Lily home! 

All we are required to do is: 
Psalm 46:10  " Be still and know HE IS GOD" 

So, here we are, in stillness knowing the Lord is at work in a way we can not even fathom. 

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Homestudy and tid bits

Begin the Paperwork! Yes, the paperwork is underway!!! what does that mean? The first part of many of paper cuts and countless times of filling out our name, birthdate, our desires, hopes, history,,etc.. has commenced!

We are so excited as things get a little more real each day! But, the process is far from over!
In July Dan and I will be heading to the states, (I to visit Grandma who paid for the ticket, and Dan to go to classes for seminary for a week) and while there we are able to meet with our social worker who only lives a few hours from where we will be!!! Praise God! This means we do not have to pay for their airfare, and other expenses!!!! This is a great blessing and provision from the Lord!

So please pray as July 6th and 7th is when we meet with him in St. Louis! While we are also gone he will be flying to South Korea to walk thru our house, (with the help of friends who are letting him in).
With that, as soon as all the background checks and things come in, hopefully the home study will be approved and we will then be able to apply for grants, and move into the next phase!!!!

Please be in prayer!!!

Monday, April 28, 2014

moving and home study.

Well, we took another step. We moved, (well we had to due to mass amount of mold) and now we are settling and gearing up for another home study visit. We are awaiting the call to schedule.
We were able to pay thanks to the many people who have given so freely to help bring Hope home!

The home study was 2300. We have raised thus far,  about 5100. We still are in need of 20k, but that will come in time. We will be having another auction in August/September timeframe!

We are so blown away by the selflessness of many. It overwhelms us at times. We will be adopting a special needs child and as of now, our hearts are drawn towards the older children. Older meaning 5 or 6.  We have heard it time and again that it will bring more challenges. We know. We are not going into this with rose coloured glasses, but glasses filled with the Grace and love of Christ. We know there will be days that we just don't know what to do, and days we will be exhausted. We know that the child will have a bit more things that are learned. We know all this, but we also know that God is equipping us for what we need, today, and will equip us during those times.

Please join us in this adventure. We don't know where the Lord will take us, but we do know that following Him is the best for us.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Its approved!!!

Its with great excitement that we announce we are paper pregnant! 
Our application for adopting from China has been approved. This means we are underway to schedule our second home-study since beginning this jounrey in 2011. We switched agencies as the Lord directed us to a Christian agency with the same heart as ours. We are so excited about where the Lord is leading. 
Our hearts are filled with hope as we bring hope home! 

China has strict guidelines, and with that, I (Becke) will still need to continue to lose weight. I am ok where we are, but for my health and to be able to do amazing things with Hope, its for the best! 
Please pray as the Lord leads us on this journey. 

We are so grateful for all of you that have followed and prayed us through on this journey. It has not been easy and filled with emotions far greater than we could have ever imagined. Along the way, we have not lost Hope in where the Lord is leading and guiding. We have not lost hope that the Lord will provide. 

With that, we need to raise some funds for this adoption to bring Hope home. We also have created a Facebook group as well if you are interested.  We are looking for ideas for fundraisers, and people to come along and help. If the Lord leads, we have put a button on the top of the page, that you can donate at.(Paypal, donate now) 

We are trusting in the Lord to provide what we need when we need it. 

We are moving to a new house in May so our home study we are hoping to have it begining of June. This gives us time to gather papers, update forms from our previous home-study and raise the needed funds. Also, this gives more time for me (Becke) to drop some weight.

We will keep you updated along this journey to bring Hope home to us. 
One idea we will be doing is having a suitcase that we will bring with us to China when we get Hope that will have all the names of those that have provided for her to get there. If there is a donation, we will put your name on the front of the suitcase that we will take. If there is a personal message you would like us to put on it, please let us know. 

Also if you live around us, you can write it on the suitcase. We are so excited to resume this journey! 

Looking forward in what the Lord does.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Back in the Saddle again!

I don't know where to even begin in this blog post, or how to convey what the Lord has been doing in regards to adoption. So, I will just start and see where the Lord leads.
In October, we were nudged by the Lord to start the adoption process again. So, we contacted our agency about needing to update our home study that was finished. We waited for a response and felt really hopeful,  until we got a response and lost the hopefulness.
Basically we were told we needed to start everything from scratch. This was a complete blow to our spirits as we knew we needed to have it updated, but to do everything all over? Really?
We became a bit numb and disenfranchised with the whole process at that point. Over Christmas and New years we really were just processing, and praying, and waiting. Clinging on to the Hope we knew, the Hope we hoped for, even though it was a small little glimmer that didn't shine really bright.

The Lord began to work on our hearts again and soften them to the process again. We continued to pray for our little one who is out there. This was our Hope!
Talking with friends here in Korea, an agency came up lots of times in every circle we were apart of. We began to take notice, and Dan and I both started wondering what the Lord was doing. We started talking and praying more, and asking God for wisdom. When discussing where the Lord was leading Dan mentioned a country that I previously had not even wanted to consider. I asked the Lord why, and what the was the reason because at the time, I didn't have one. I don't know why I didn't want to adopt someone from there, but I really sought the Lord. While here in Korea we have been bombarded with the culture of babies being abandoned, and left on streets, garbage cans, etc. This has burdened our hearts so very much for the Asian culture.

We have decided to start the adoption home study process once again but going with China. I will link a video below that is an hour, but it really explains so much of why.  In China, there is a one child law in place, and if a girl is born 9 out of 10 are aborted because everyone wants a son. This is so sad, and there are thousands of orphans who are waiting for a forever home. What can we do about this? The treatment of females in China is hard to fathom,  and makes our hearts sad. Its a patriarch society and places a higher value on men than woman. Again, makes my heart sad.
Today, February 2nd, we sent our application, with address from when we were 18, and a photo in to Small World Adoption. This agency is a Christian agency and places such a high value on adoption from the Biblical perspective. We are so excited to begin again this journey.

Please pray for us, and for our Hope Haas that we would be united in the Lord's time. With adoption we have need for funding again. We raised enough to cover the last home study, (which will come in handy for this one) and will once again need to raise funding.  We know the Lord is faithful!


Who will be our Hope?